Monday, October 29, 2007

GUEST POST from Denise Hunnel's site '...aka Catholic Mom'

Your Way Monday


The following post comes to us from the blog of Denise Hunnel, writer of a weB-LOG entitled:


Catholic Matriarch in my Domestic Church aka Catholic Mom
I have worn many labels (Not in any particular order): Catholic, Wife, Mom, Doctor, Major, Soccer Mom, Military Wife. All of these filter my views of the world. I merge them into the view of Catholic Mom. I hope that like St. Monica, I can through prayer, words and example, lead my children and others to Faith.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I Am Not the Enemy

We are the parents. God gave us our children. It is our responsibility to see that they are properly nurtured in mind, body, and soul. So why then do the state, the schools, the medical community, and even the parish religious education offices think we are incompetent? Why do I feel like I have to ask permission to parent my child?

The latest assault on parental authority comes in Maine. A school-based health clinic will now dispense oral contraceptives and contraceptive patches to girls ages eleven to thirteen. The girls must have their parents’ permission to use the clinic services, but once that permission is given, parents are not notified of what types of services are utilized. They will be dispensing powerful hormones to newly post-pubescent girls and their parents won’t have a clue.

What is the message this clinic is sending to the students? How about,
Your parents don’t really know best. Their teaching is irrelevant. You make your own decisions and we will help you do what you want. Is the clinic staff going to take responsibility when one of the thirteen year olds has a stroke because she started smoking while taking birth control pills? Are they going to explain away her HIV infection because she got drunk and was gang raped at a party? After all, they told her loud and clear that it was fine for her to be sexually active in spite of her parents’ admonishments against it. Why should she listen to her parents’ objections to drinking, smoking, or drugs? This exclusion of parents in the critical decisions for their children is a serious threat to the social institution of the family. And as we have seen, the destruction of the family does not bode well for society at large.

Unfortunately, too many parents have become numb to this assault. It is now taken for granted that the school will teach about sex, the doctors will decide what immunizations are given, and the parish religious education office will teach children the faith. Too many parents are just passive observers. They just blindly chauffer their children from one indoctrination activity to another. And when a parent tries to wrest control from one of these institutions they are labeled as a trouble-maker, a fanatic, or an unfit parent.

From the Catechism:

The family must be helped and defended by appropriate social measures. Where families cannot fulfill their responsibilities, other social bodies have the duty of helping them and of supporting the institution of the family. Following the principle of subsidiarity, larger communities should take care not to usurp the family’s prerogatives or interfere in its life. (CCC 2209)

Therefore, contrary to common practice, the schools, the state, the medical community, and the parish religious education program are there to assist me in the parenting of my children. It is my prerogative to dictate how much assistance I will accept.

For example, I opt my children out of the tenth grade sex education program at their public high school. Its lesson titles include Which contraceptive is right for you? and Are you gay? Of course I have heard some tongue clicking because I am sheltering my children too much. I don’t know why some people assume that if my children don’t get information at school, they will not get it. I am a board certified family physician with 15 years of active clinical practice under my belt including time spent as a physician in a college health clinic. Believe, me. I am not na├»ve about what kids know and do. I want my children to be prepared. But I prepare them with both biological and spiritual information in a unified “curriculum” that my husband and I teach them from early childhood through their teenage years.

It is time for parents to understand that being in the driver’s seat as a parent means more than just sitting behind the wheel of the minivan. It is time for institutions to abandon their adversarial stance towards parents. They are to cooperate with my agenda for my child, not fight it. No one loves my child more than I do. I am not the enemy. I am the parent.
Are you the parent [s] of your child[ren] ? Or not?

Do you accept your responsibility to speak out when there are issues opposing your faith?

Are you ready and willing to fight for your rights?


Adrienne said...

I love this woman!! Thanks for sharing this with us, Uncle Jim.

Buddhist, RN said...

Perhaps 11 is a little young. But as I'm sure I said before, I totally promote birth control. I'm not sure about not telling the parents when they're that young...jury's still out on that. But your parents DON'T always know best. Sometimes people ahve dumb parents, especially Catholic people who don't even stop to think about whether or not what they "should" believe is even right. And no, of course the clinic has no responsibility for a girl smoking on birth control. If they decide to take it, they need to know the consequences. And of COURSE taking the pill makes you go to bad parties and get drunk.

Is EVERYTHING "indoctrination" if the parents dont make the decision, or if you don't find it in the catechism? Besides, the world doesn't work according to the Catholic way, and we cna't expect it to ever be that way, nor should we want to unless the whole world, of their OWN accord, becomes Catholic.

And what's wrong with talking about being gay in school? IF you are, you are, whether or not you're Catholic. And is it bad to talk about contraceptives at all? Should we just ihnore it and let the kids decide how they should use them?

Parents have a job. But so do teachers. And doctors. And not all parents do their job. And not all parents are right. We aren't all right either, but we have a respoinsibility for the students who come to us, Catholic or otherwise.