Thursday, February 28, 2008

Cause Way Thursday
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you'll never be able to have children
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Our first child, a girl, died at birth. We name her Wendy. She's buried in a small church cemetery in southeastern MI. We'd only been married 14 months and had just buried our first child.

Young married couples can bounce back quickly, if they try. We tried. We bounced back. A year and a half later we were expecting our second child. Five months into the pregnancy and we had lost our second child - another girl - stillborn.

That's when the doctor told us, "You'll never be able to have children." There were some physical issues that precluded being able to carry a baby to term. We sought a second opinion.

The new doctor said that with some surgery, my wife should be able to not only conceive, but carry to full term. Hurray for modern medicine.

She did [had a couple of surgeries]; we did [get her pregnant]; our daughter did [stayed aboard full term] ... and she was the first - just four years into our marriage and we had a strong healthy little girl to raise. Then, after eight years into our marriage and we had a first son to raise; after twelve years into our marriage and we had a second son to raise. [see picture at head of this blog site which includes spouses-in-law and 3 grandchildren]

As young marrieds we didn't have much ... but we had each other, our extended families, and God. God entrusted us with the responsibility of raising future saints for the Kingdom - two whom He called home immediately, and three we were given the opportunity to raise from scratch.

The front end of parenting holds more questions than answers. Surround yourself with faith-filled like-minded people. Keep God in the loop in every decision. Be there for each other, and when you don't agree on what to do next, double your effort to talk it through with your heavenly Father.

Parenthood is a sharing in the life of the Creator - remember that every day.

uncle jim
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thanks to Peggy for the following:
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Many men, women, family members and friends are seeking to make sense of their own or a loved one’s abortion experience. You are not alone.

Abortion Changes You is an invitation for those who have been touched by abortion - men, women, grandparents, siblings, other family members and friends - to know that they are not alone and that healing resources are available. Men and women are able to type in their Zip code and find local resources such as after abortion ministries and counselors. The outreach includes the interactive Web site and the book Changed.

The Abortion Changes You outreach is close to my heart because I’ve been there.

When I became pregnant at 18, I had an abortion.

I was completely unprepared for the emotional fallout. I thought the abortion would erase the pregnancy. I thought I could move on with my life. I was wrong.

I experienced periods of intense anger followed by periods of profound sadness. With counseling and the help of supportive friends, I was able to enter into a healthy grieving process. In addition to grieving the loss of my child, I slowly became aware of how my choice to abort had impacted my family. I was surprised and saddened that my parents, my sister, and even my living children struggled to deal with the loss of a family member through abortion.

Over the years I’ve heard many heartrending stories about abortion. Although each story is unique, a common thread moves through them all—abortion changes you. Although abortion has touched many of us, we rarely share our personal experiences regarding it.

This is what led me to write a book that shares some of the stories I’ve heard. Changed: Making Sense of Your Own or a Loved One’s Abortion Experience is an invitation to begin the healing process through a grief and loss healing model.

There was also a need for a safe space for people to tell their stories, explore the ways abortion has impacted them, and find resources. We created to fill this need.

It is my hope that the Web site and book will assist you as you seek to make sense of your abortion or the abortion of someone close to you.

If you have not been touched by abortion, I hope that the Web site and book will aid you as you seek to sensitively and compassionately communicate with others about abortion.


View the 1-minute video about the outreach here.


Be the first to receive an original edition of Changed.

Tell a Friend

Your financial support helps reach others touched by abortion.
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Tom in Vegas said...

Wonderful post. Since I visited your blog for the first time quite some time ago, I left with the impression that the image in your header was placed there by a man with a strong family connection. My impressions have been confirmed.

"Surround yourself with faith-filled like-minded people. Keep God in the loop in every decision. Be there for each other, and when you don't agree on what to do next, double your effort to talk it through with your heavenly Father."

Excellent advice. Could not have said it better myself.


Melody K said...

Jim, I'm sorry about the little ones you didn't get to keep. I know that was a hard thing to go through. I'm glad you and your wife were eventually able to raise a family. As you say, hooray for modern medicine. We take a lot for granted. When I walk through the older parts of the cemetery back home, where most of my deceased relatives are buried; I am struck by the number of infants and children's graves. Thank God that is not so usual anymore.