Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts

Sunday, November 11, 2007

a great role model I am not always

My Way Sunday
. . . . .
reflections on being a Christian man, part 2

I've found it helpful to look at persons in the Bible for clues about how I should live my life. Assuming I want to be a 'man of God', there are probably some characteristics I need to adopt as my own -that also supposes there are behaviors and characteristics I should avoid.

Job, a personage in the Old Testament writings, seems to me to be a very good model to aspire to imitate. He seems to be helpful in presenting a picture of what a man - a man of God - should look like. I say helpful, but I'm not suggesting it is a complete picture.

The 29th chapter of the Old Testament book named after this man Job, is quite telling.
It says that Job is friends with God.
It says that Job is a respected man of wisdom and authority
It says that Job was a man who could make decisions and take charge of situations.
It says that Job was a man who looked after the welfare of the people in his circle.
It says that Job helped the oppressed, the widows, and the poor.
It says that Job corrected error when it arose.

Are those characteristics and traits of the kind of man I want, or need, to be?

As a man of God, I need to be ever vigilant to be effective in living life in a manner that will not give the Creator a black-eye. I am a reflection of, and an extension of, the Godhead Himself. If my behavior is anything but what it should be, I may be responsible, through example, for turning someone else in the wrong direction.

I could write volumes about those times when I have been just that - a bad example. I hope there are other times when I get it right.

[to be continued next Sunday]
. . . . .
Addendum:
On Thursday of this past week, I and 4 other men traveled 9 hours to the Buffalo NY area to attend a funeral on Friday Morning. The man being buried is the brother of a friend of ours. The deceased could be a role model for many men.

I don't recall ever being at a wake, Funeral Mass, and burial quite like it. This man was well known by many in every social and economic circumstance - top to bottom. The honor guards were several, representing some of the many influences in his life.

There were approximately 25 bikers dressed as you see them on the streets and in the mags from full leather to jeans and vests and regaled with every conceivable emblem and insignia - riding their Harley's in pairs from the funeral home to the church to the cemetery.

There were another 20 or so Emergency Services vehicles from just about every jurisdiction within 50 miles of his home town - first responders, all of them. And law enforcement officers forming an honor guard for the casket from the hearse to the church entrance for his coming and his going.

There was a contingent of approximately 50+ Seneca Indians who live on the reservation adjacent to the deceased's property. He was a full adopted member of the tribe and the Red Eye clan who were listed in his obituary, naming his adoptive parents and siblings.

There was a group of American Veterans of his Viet Nam War era.
There was a special Naval Honor Guard, providing the flag ceremonies and bugler at the cemetery.
There was a 'flyover' of Emergency Services helicopters at the conclusion of the graveside services.
There were elected officials and government employees.
There were citizens of his home town, where he had served as Mayor for more than one term.
There were relatives from all over who made the trip to honor this wonderful man.
There was his family friend, who was also his personal confessor and Chaplain for the Emergency Services department of the County in which the deceased had served as Director and Commissioner of Emergency Services for many years, and who celebrated the Funeral Mass.
There were friends of friends, and people who had been the recipient of his generosity, and people who had disagreements with the things he did, and others for whom he was the peacemaker, and those for whom he helped bring consensus when no one else seemed to be able to get that done.

And he was GOD's man. He and his life of example showed others the way to God. The way he suffered the past year and a half, and died while praying the rosary with family and friends at his side, all spoke volumes. He has joined that 'cloud of witnesses' of whom scripture speaks.

Please offer a prayer of thanksgiving with me for this dear brother in the Lord, Michael Walters, former Commissioner of Emergency Services for Erie County [Buffalo] NY. May his soul rest in Peace.
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

When is 'a second chance' no chance at all?

.....
I suspect many a parent is able to recall in minute detail the particulars of the "one more chance" request rendered by a child. Sometimes, just in the recalling, the parent is forced to hold back the urge to laugh uncontrollably - these requests are sometimes very funny. Other times they're just plain pathetic.

There are those who would say that a "Please mom [or dad] ... just one more chance ... please." coming from your child really translates into something more like, "Well, you let me get away with this before ... what's the uproar about this time? It's no different." And why shouldn't the child think that? After all, we've never cracked down yet.

The drunk driver who has never had to do 'hard time' will seldom learn to stop drinking and driving. After all, how many times has he / she NOT been caught? And even when caught, they get off with a wrist-slap [after all, our jails are full of real criminals].

The teen-ager who has been stealing candy bars and soft drinks from the carry-out for years, and who has been caught several times, and made to pay-up, has never had to stand before the judge.

The issue is one of helping me get off the hook, or helping me learn to be better ... more responsible ... accountable for my actions. I'm grateful God doesn't use my daily misbehavior as a reason to make my life miserable. Does He forgive too much?

My seat before his bench will come someday, and, even in His great mercy, He'll finally say to me, "Son, it's time to pay the piper. I gave you a gazillion chances, and you still mocked me and turned your back on me. I kept waiting for you to turn around and tell me you were sorry - you just couldn't find it in yourself to do that, could you. Too, bad ... I had a nice mansion lined up for you - but not to be! No more chances."

Don't we owe it to our children to stop the bad behavior now? To help them form good habits and good patterns of behavior before they are so ensnared by the bad that they cannot even see the good? Too much of a good thing can have serious consequences and be deadly.

Even as much, don't we owe it to each other? If I'm continually granting 'a second chance', don't I need to look closely and see that it is warranted? Mercy is wonderful - enabling bad behavior is a whole other issue.
.....

Friday, October 12, 2007

Correcting Children: a second chance

['click' on the > above, then follow along below]
- - - - -
Strap on your seat belts ... here we go!

"The Mom Song" to the tune of the William Tell Overture

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here's your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don't make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
"I don't care who started it!
You're grounded until you're 36"
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before
That you're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don't forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!
- - - - -
How many corrections does it take before we've adequately trained our children?

How many affirmations need to be added to the mix?

How do you train your children?

How do we relate to our children?
- all the same?
- differently because they're different?

Do you ever feel like a 'parrot', saying the same thing over and over?
.....